You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t
helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are a few examples of the latter
that will steal your happiness if you let them:
1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your own.
Don’t be so
satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone
for them that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and
bring it to life. You have everything you need to become what you are
capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take
control. This means consuming less and creating more.
It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding
for you. It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and
instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to
soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks
and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things that give you
wings. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart
and dedicate time to them every day. If you truly care about what you
do and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing you can’t
accomplish.
2. Waiting for the perfect moment.
Don’t buy into the myth
of the perfect moment. Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make
them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what
they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the
perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! These states of perfection are
myths. They do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest
potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of
imperfection. You will come to succeed not by
finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly
.
3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck.
Work without
interest is imprisonment. Even if you aren’t super-passionate about
your work, you’ve got to at least be interested in it. When you design a
lifestyle in which your work is something you suffer through daily
strictly to pay your bills, you end up spending your entire life wishing
you had someone else’s.
Think about it. This is your life; your
work will fill a large percentage of it. It’s not all about the money;
it’s about you. Ignore the propaganda, especially from people who say,
“Don’t let your work define you.” Reverse this message and mediate on
it: “I will do work that defines me.” When the essence of who you are
defines at least some slice of the work you do for a living, that work
generates fulfillment.
Bottom line: Interest in your work puts
quality in your output and happiness in your mind. Don’t settle for a
paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that interests you.
4. Harboring feelings of hate.
As Martin Luther King Jr. so
profoundly said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Truth be
told, when we harbor feelings of hate, it eventually gets the best of
us. It takes control of us. We forget why we hate, what we hate, and
whom we hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then,
naturally, we begin to hate ourselves too.
Everything and everyone
you hate rents permanent space in both your head and heart. So if you
want to eliminate something or someone from your mind, don’t hate.
Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and don’t look back.
5. Holding tight to worries and fears.
Someday
when you look back over your life you’ll realize that nearly all of
your worries and anxious fears never came to fruition – they were
completely unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right now.
When you look back over the last few years, how many opportunities for
joy did you destroy with needless worry and negativity? Although
there’s nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s plenty you can
do about the ones that are still to come.
You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart and soul. Let go of them.
Don’t clamp shackles to your own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy
more of your life right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a
matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are weighing you
down.
Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and jealousy,
of your need to always be right and control others. Let go of your
pretentiousness and your need to have everything your way. Underneath
all these layers of nonsense there is a happy, productive person. When
you start peeling them off and simply appreciating everything for what
it is, life can be wonderfully fulfilling.
6. Dwelling on difficulties.
A
bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it anything more. Times
of adversity will inevitably affect the conditions in which you live
and work; yet you don’t have to let it affect who you are and where
you’re headed. Take note of the setbacks and adjust to them, but don’t
expand on them by making them a bigger part of your life.
Every
day brings new lessons and new possibilities. There is always a way to
take the next step forward on the path you’ve chosen. Events may be
terrible and inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if not
when, then how, you may endure and proceed onward.
7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.
There
are two variations of contentment in life – fleeting and enduring. The
fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the
enduring type is attained through the gradual growth of your mind. At a
glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as
time rolls on it becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far
superior.
Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups
and downs, because through them your mind remains confident and at
peace. On the other hand, when life’s fleeting changes have the ability
to ruffle your mind into a frenzy, even the most elaborate physical
comforts won’t make you any happier for very long.
8. Trying to make a big difference all at once.
If
you want to make a difference in the world, start with the world around
you. Making a big difference all at once is usually impossible, and
the process of trying is extremely stressful. However, instantly making
a difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually fairly
easy. You just have to focus on one person at a time and start with the
one closest to you.
Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and
let the ripples spread naturally. If you want to change a person’s mind
or mood, sometimes you have to change the minds or moods of the people
around them first. For instance, if you make one person smile, their
smile just might make others smile too. In this subtle way, you can
touch the masses with your thoughtfulness without stressing yourself
out.
9. Holding on to someone who hurts you.
Sometimes
you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but
because they don’t. When someone hurts you time and time again, accept
the fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow,
but it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to impress them any
further. Waste not another second of your time trying to prove
something to them. Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any
thought of them ever again.
10. Over-amplifying the importance of physical attractiveness.
Infatuating
yourself with someone simply for what they look like on the outside is
like choosing your favorite food based on color instead of taste. It
makes no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable characteristics
that create lasting attraction.
Just as some people enjoy the
smell of mint, while others prefer the scent of cinnamon, there is an
undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the qualities of certain
people, places, and things. Sometimes it’s even the scars your soul
shares with them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that hold
you together in the long run.
