From knowing this we must all be willing to choose our words carefully. Though it may be easier said than done, we have to all make efforts to not speak out against anyone behind their backs, and to only speak so that they will be able to hear it, receive it, and grow from it. Your words are powerful, always make sure to think and use words that build instead of destroy.
Watch Your Words For They Become Your Actions
From knowing this we must all be willing to choose our words carefully. Though it may be easier said than done, we have to all make efforts to not speak out against anyone behind their backs, and to only speak so that they will be able to hear it, receive it, and grow from it. Your words are powerful, always make sure to think and use words that build instead of destroy.
How to Build Relationships
Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, but
oddly enough, most of us don’t think about it until it’s been
broken. By that time, it may be too late to gain it back. Trust
doesn’t “just happen” through some sort of magical
relationship osmosis. It’s built and sustained through the use
of very specific behaviors. Whether you’re a leader, coach,
teacher, parent, or friend, the skill of building trust is critical
to the success of your relationships.
The four elements of trust are illustrated . You build trust when you are:
Able – Demonstrate Competence. People show they are able when they have the expertise
needed for their job, role, or position. They consistently achieve results and are effective
problem solvers and decision makers. Demonstrating competence inspires others to have
confidence and trust in you.
Believable – Act with Integrity . Trustworthy people are honest with others. They behave
in a manner consistent with their stated values, treat people fairly, and behave ethically.
“Walking the talk” is essential in building trust in relationships.
Connected – Care About Others. Being connected means focusing on people, having good
communication skills, and recognizing the contributions of others. Caring about others
builds trust because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care.
Dependable – Maintain Reliability. Dependable people follow through on their
commitments. They respond timely to requests and hold themselves and others
accountable. Not doing what you say you will do quickly erodes trust with others.
Solution of the Suffer From Low Trust
Feeling like a shadow of your former self? Is there a lack of emotional connection in your
relationships? Do you find others not sharing important information with you or excluding
you from activities? If so, you might be suffering from Low T. Don’t worry, you’re not
alone. Millions of well-intentioned leaders experience Low T at some point in their career.
It’s a treatable condition but it requires leaders to understand the causes Low T and how to
avoid them.
Causes of Low Trust [Low T]
Trust is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships and organizations. It allows people
to collaborate wholeheartedly with one another, take risks and innovate, and devote their
discretionary energy to the organization. However, there are certain behaviors and
characteristics of people who experience Low T in the workplace.
★Taking credit for other people’s work
★Not accepting responsibility
★Being unreliable
★Not following through on commitments
★Lying, cheating
★Gossiping or spreading rumors
★Hoarding information
★Not recognizing or rewarding good performance
Treating Low Trust
Reversing Low T requires understanding the four elements of trust and using behaviors
that align with those elements. The four elements of trust can be represented by the ABCD
Trust Model:
Able – Demonstrate Competence. Leaders show they are able when they have the expertise
needed for their job. They consistently achieve results and facilitate work getting done in
the organization. Demonstrating competence inspires others to have confidence and trust
in you.
Believable – Act with Integrity. Trustworthy leaders are honest with others. They behave in a
manner consistent with their stated values, apply company policies fairly, and treat people
equitably. “Walking the talk” is essential in building trust in relationships.
Connected – Care About Others. Being connected means focusing on people, having good
communication skills, and recognizing the contributions of others. Caring about others
builds trust because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care.
Dependable – Maintain Reliability. Dependable leaders follow through on their commitments.
They respond timely to requests and hold themselves and others accountable. Not doing
what you say you will do quickly erodes trust with others.
Don’t Settle for Leading with Low Trust
Too many leaders settle for leading with Low T because they don’t understand how trust is
actually formed in relationships. Trust doesn’t “just happen,” as if through some sort of
relationship osmosis. Trust is built over a period of time through the intentional use of
trust-forming behaviors. Good leaders focus on using trust-building behaviors and avoid
using behaviors that erode trust.
Interpersonal Threats and Automatic Motives
Not one man in a billion, when taking his dinner, ever thinks of utility. He eats because the food tastes good and makes him want more. If you ask him why he should want to eat more of what tastes like that, instead of revering you as a philosopher he will probably laugh at you for a fool. —William James (1890/1950, p. 386)
Many species of waterfowl display a fascinating behavioral sequence. Upon observation of an egg that has rolled away from its nest, the brooding animal waddles over to the egg and nudges it back to the nest with its beak (Lorenz, 1965). Repeated displacement of an egg results in repeated replacement by the animal. For human observers, it’s difficult not to attribute humanlike motives—it appears as though the bird really wants to keep all of its eggs inside the nest. In fact, if we had observed a person engaging in the same egg-nudging behavior, the most sensible explanation would be that this person wants—is motivated—to keep the eggs inside the nest. But appearances are deceiving. Simple experiments have revealed that these birds will also perform the same egg-nudging behavior on objects such as baseballs and doorknobs that have been placed in the vicinity of the nest (Tinbergen, 1951). Termed fixed action patterns, these seemingly complex behaviors are in fact simple stimulus–response reflexes. Waterfowl do not possess goal-directed motives that we are tempted to attribute—they don’t really care about the welfare of their eggs, per se. Whatever “motive” underlies the egg-nudging fixed action pattern, it is manifestly distinct from the apparent function served by it (for a similar discussion, see Schaller, 2003).1 The discovery of fixed action patterns had profound implications for biologists’ understanding of animal behavior. It provoked researchers to address several critical issues, and it led to a fruitful meta-theoretical framework for studying behavioral tendencies (Lorenz, 1965; Tinbergen, 1951). The essential aspects of the framework are as follows. First, fixed action patterns reveal a history of evolutionary selection. Any behavior that is part of a species’ natural repertoire suggests natural selection of behavioral variants that conferred fitness benefits to predecessors (Bolles, 1970). (“Confer fitness benefits” is shorthand for saying that the trait in question increased the likelihood of survival and reproduction for the ancestral animals that possessed the trait.) Second, if fixed action patterns conferred fitness benefits, this implies that they served some adaptive function for the ancestral animals. One might reasonably hypothesize that the egg-nudging behavior was selected because it served—usually reliably—the fitness-enhancing function of gathering eggs that rolled away from the nest (this sort of explanation of behavior is also known as “ultimate” explanation). Finally, careful empirical investigation of f ixed action patterns uncovers the specific mechanisms that underlie them. In the case of the egg-nudging sequence, waterfowl seem to possess a mechanism that detects superficially egglike objects and triggers the nudging behavior (this sort of explanation of behavior is also known as “proximate” explanation). Under some circumstances, such mechanisms produce functionally futile responses (in terms of fitness), which, ironically, expose the design features of the mechanisms (by observing birds collecting baseballs and doorknobs, researchers were able to infer that the birds respond mechanically to objects that look roughly like eggs instead of accurately identifying their own eggs under variable circumstances). In this chapter, we describe lines of research in which a similar framework has been applied to the study of human motives. We begin by describing the theoretical foundations of the evolutionary approach and the ways in which this approach can generate new and testable hypotheses regarding various psychological processes. We then review research lines in various domains of interpersonal phenomena that have tested those hypotheses. Throughout this endeavor we have tried to apply the lessons learned from the humble fixed action patterns. This is not to suggest that humans exhibit behaviors that could properly be called fixed action patterns. Nonetheless, the key idea—that seemingly goal-directed motives may in fact be largely automatic programs—can be usefully applied to the study of human behavior. Perhaps the most important lesson for psychological researchers is to refrain from attaching humanlike goal-directed motives to observed behavior, even, paradoxically, to human behavior.2 This is because the actual motives that drive behavior may be logically independent of the apparent goal served by them, even if we are tempted—as in the case of fixed action patterns—to attribute rational, goaldirected motives. Bowlby (1969) similarly noted the need to separate “function” from “causation” when explaining instinctive behavior. For example, to say that “a bird engages in egg-nudging behavior in order to keep them in the nest” conflates function (the evolutionary reason for the existence of the behavior) with actual causes of the behavioral pattern (the mechanical program and the contextual triggers). As we illustrate below, the automatic nature of goal-like “motives” can be exposed given appropriate circumstances (Schaller, 2003), and, like waterfowl, people may occasionally exhibit responses that appear functionally futile to “wiser” observers (such as experimental psychologists). Indeed, instances of functionally futile behavior may be an inevitable consequence of psychological programs shaped by evolution. Of course, the notion that various primes can automatically trigger behavior is not new (e.g., Bargh, Chen, & Burrows, 1996). Thus, many psychologists will have no difficulty accepting the argument that many behavioral reactions are reflexive and relatively unmediated. Our present thesis pertains more to motivation researchers: Goal-directed motives are constructs to be demonstrated, not assumed (cf. Pittman, 1998).
Leading with Trust
The world is in desperate need for a new kind of leadership.
The type of leadership we’ve seen the last several decades
has produced record low levels of trust and engagement in
the workforce, so clearly what we’ve been doing isn’t
working. We need a leadership philosophy grounded in the
knowledge and belief that the most successful leaders and
organizations are those that place an emphasis on leading
with trust.
A critical step for leaders and organizations to take to
realize the benefits of high levels of trust is to establish a
common definition and framework of how to build trust. Most people think trust “just
happens” in relationships. That’s a misconception. Trust is built through the intentional
use of specific behaviors that, when repeated over time, create the condition of trust. Oddly
enough, most leaders don’t think about trust until it’s broken. No one likes to think of
himself or herself as untrustworthy so we take it for granted that other people trust us. To
further complicate matters, trust is based on perceptions, so each of us has a different idea
of what trust looks like. Organizations need a common framework and language that
defines trust and allows people to discuss trust-related issues.
Research has shown that trust is comprised of four basic elements. To represent those four
elements, or the “language” of trust, The Ken Blanchard Companies created the ABCD Trust
Model—Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable. For leaders to be successful in
developing high-trust relationships and cultures, they need to focus on using behaviors
that align with the ABCDs of trust.
Leaders build trust when they are:
Able—Being Able is about demonstrating competence. One way leaders demonstrate their
competence is having the expertise needed to do their jobs. Expertise comes from
possessing the right skills, education, or credentials that establish credibility with others.
Leaders also demonstrate their competence through achieving results. Consistently
achieving goals and having a track record of success builds trust with others and inspires
confidence in your ability. Able leaders are also skilled at facilitating work getting done in
the organization. They develop credible project plans, systems, and processes that help team
members accomplish their goals.
Believable —A Believable leader acts with integrity. Dealing with people in an honest fashion
by keeping promises, not lying or stretching the truth, and not gossiping are ways to
demonstrate integrity. Believable leaders also have a clear set of values that have been
articulated to their direct reports and they behave consistently with those values—they
walk the talk. Finally, treating people fairly and equitably are key components to being a
believable leader. Being fair doesn’t necessarily mean treating people the same in all
circumstances, but it does mean that people are treated appropriately and justly based on
their own unique situation.
Connected —Connected leaders show care and concern for people, which builds trust and
helps to create an engaging work environment. Research by The Ken Blanchard Companies
has identified “connectedness with leader” and “connectedness with colleague” as 2 of the
12 key factors involved in creating employee work passion, and trust is a necessary
ingredient in those relationships. Leaders create a sense of connectedness by openly
sharing information about themselves and the organization and trusting employees to use
that information responsibly. Leaders also build trust by having a “people first” mentality
and building rapport with those they lead. Taking an interest in people as individuals and
not just as nameless workers shows that leaders value and respect their team members.
Recognition is a vital component of being a connected leader, and praising and rewarding
the contributions of people and their work builds trust and goodwill.
Dependable —Being Dependable and maintaining reliability is the fourth element of trust.
One of the quickest ways to erode trust is by not following through on commitments.
Conversely, leaders who do what they say they’re going to do earn a reputation as being
consistent and trustworthy. Maintaining reliability requires leaders to be organized in such
a way that they are able to follow through on commitments, be on time for appointments
and meetings, and get back to people in a timely fashion. Dependable leaders also hold
themselves and others accountable for following through on commitments and taking
responsibility for the outcomes of their work.