Don't & fall in love with someone who says the right things, fall in love withsomeone who does the right things.

Sometimes when we start to feel ourselves fall in love, we get cold feet
and contemplate backing out of potential relationships before they start
because we feel as though we may not be ready to give our heart away.
Remember when you are in the midst of finding a love to make sure that
you arent just falling in love with the person that they present
themselves as on the outside, and not the person that they truly are at
the level of their heart and soul.
Remember also that falling in love is taking a risk, and though taking
risks are an important part of finding your own happiness in life, we
should be careful with whom we choose to open up our hearts to and
level because there is always a chance that a person may eventually get
hurt. Also remember that if or when you do decide to let your heart go to
do so with great courage instead of building a foundation in a
relationship from dishonesty and stress.

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.

Tears can be a great indicator of how much a person actually cares for
someone else. Since tears help to soothe and heal the soul from pain,
when a person cries uncontrollably over a person or situation in their
lives, chances are they have feelings for whatever it may be that is
causing them to react in this manner. When we love someone we have to
be ready for all of the things that being involved with someone may
potentially lead us to.
We may laugh with our loved ones, argue with our loved ones, and cry
over the situations that we go through with our loved ones because our
hearts are susceptible to being hurt when we choose to let others in.
Never waste tears for someone who doesn't love you the way that they
should, or for the past, but instead use them when you really need them,
use them when you need to grieve over situations that arise in the
present.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

Life is full of many things, and many of the most important things in our
lives stem from the things that we cant see with our natural eyes. Things
like the choices that we are willing to make on a day-to-day basis, affect
our lives greatly without us even seeing how. The way that we choose to
dress may help us to gain recognition that we aren't even seeking
consciously, or it may help to deter others from wanting to get to know
us.
Other things in life that are very real to us that we can't see like love
help to give our lives meaning on a day to day basis. Love makes us
want to work harder in our everyday lives, love keeps us honest, and it
helps us to think about the things that are actually important in life,
instead of focusing on the parts of life that are solely negative.
Always remember the parts of life that make life real, because many times
these are the things that we may feel, but that we cant see.

Unconditional love is when someone hurts you making you angry,……

Unconditional love is when someone hurts you making you angry, but because
you care about that person so much you choose not to hurt them in return.

Sometimes when we love, we love so hard that no matter what happens,
no matter how much we have been angered, the last thing that we want
to do is to hurt the person that we love. Love does many strange things
to us that we normally wouldn't even consider doing. For example, us
being unwilling to lash at someone who has hurt us is an approach that
many just are not willing to take when they dont love someone.
When we are in true love we become vulnerable, in a good way, we
become the people that we should normally be anyway. Learning how to
treat someone that we love should transfer over into our daily lives as
well. Treat every single person you encounter including your enemies and
your friends with love. Make an effort to make others feel good about
being alive, and your self worth will soon multiply exponentially.

I love you without knowing…

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply,
without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any
other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your
hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes
close.

Only once in your life…

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely
turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with
another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear
more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals
that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.
When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it,
knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry
with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of
yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not
good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about
yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure,
jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You
can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they
love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people
such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart
to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and
vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist
at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s
work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need
for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having
them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating
because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.
You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple
things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm
cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may
be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy
that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way
to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find
strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will
remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and
worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of
your life.

How to Build Relationships

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, but
oddly enough, most of us don’t think about it until it’s been
broken. By that time, it may be too late to gain it back. Trust
doesn’t “just happen” through some sort of magical
relationship osmosis. It’s built and sustained through the use
of very specific behaviors. Whether you’re a leader, coach,
teacher, parent, or friend, the skill of building trust is critical
to the success of your relationships.

The four elements of trust are illustrated . You build trust when you are:
Able – Demonstrate Competence. People show they are able when they have the expertise
needed for their job, role, or position. They consistently achieve results and are effective
problem solvers and decision makers. Demonstrating competence inspires others to have
confidence and trust in you.

Believable – Act with Integrity . Trustworthy people are honest with others. They behave
in a manner consistent with their stated values, treat people fairly, and behave ethically.
“Walking the talk” is essential in building trust in relationships.

Connected – Care About Others. Being connected means focusing on people, having good
communication skills, and recognizing the contributions of others. Caring about others
builds trust because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care.

Dependable – Maintain Reliability. Dependable people follow through on their
commitments. They respond timely to requests and hold themselves and others
accountable. Not doing what you say you will do quickly erodes trust with others.

Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful.

Each  day is a day that should be lived not only as our last, but as our
first as well. This is not to say that we shouldn't learn from the
experience of the pasts, but we must have a selective memory, because
for many of us our pasts are full of experiences and memories that may
not represent us most effectively in the present.
Make every day a new masterpiece, because as each day goes by, we
should be better able to live out our lives. Each day is a day that we must
live in, and make the best of. Use the tools and experiences that you
have acquired thus far, to help make each step you take stronger, and to
help make each move you make more meaningful. Life will always present
you with challenges, and life will always have a tendency to try to knock
you down. But it isnt about how many times you are knocked down, it is
about what you are able to learn from being knocked down that allows
you to keep getting up and fighting harder.

Solution of the Suffer From Low Trust

Feeling like a shadow of your former self? Is there a lack of emotional connection in your
relationships? Do you find others not sharing important information with you or excluding
you from activities? If so, you might be suffering from Low T. Don’t worry, you’re not
alone. Millions of well-intentioned leaders experience Low T at some point in their career.
It’s a treatable condition but it requires leaders to understand the causes Low T and how to
avoid them.

Causes of Low Trust [Low T]
Trust is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships and organizations. It allows people
to collaborate wholeheartedly with one another, take risks and innovate, and devote their
discretionary energy to the organization. However, there are certain behaviors and
characteristics of people who experience Low T in the workplace.

★Taking credit for other people’s work
★Not accepting responsibility
★Being unreliable
★Not following through on commitments
★Lying, cheating
★Gossiping or spreading rumors
★Hoarding information
★Not recognizing or rewarding good performance

Treating Low Trust
Reversing Low T requires understanding the four elements of trust and using behaviors
that align with those elements. The four elements of trust can be represented by the ABCD
Trust Model:

Able – Demonstrate Competence. Leaders show they are able when they have the expertise
needed for their job. They consistently achieve results and facilitate work getting done in
the organization. Demonstrating competence inspires others to have confidence and trust
in you.

Believable – Act with Integrity. Trustworthy leaders are honest with others. They behave in a
manner consistent with their stated values, apply company policies fairly, and treat people
equitably. “Walking the talk” is essential in building trust in relationships.

Connected – Care About Others. Being connected means focusing on people, having good
communication skills, and recognizing the contributions of others. Caring about others
builds trust because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care.

Dependable – Maintain Reliability. Dependable leaders follow through on their commitments.
They respond timely to requests and hold themselves and others accountable. Not doing
what you say you will do quickly erodes trust with others.

Don’t Settle for Leading with Low Trust
Too many leaders settle for leading with Low T because they don’t understand how trust is
actually formed in relationships. Trust doesn’t “just happen,” as if through some sort of
relationship osmosis. Trust is built over a period of time through the intentional use of
trust-forming behaviors. Good leaders focus on using trust-building behaviors and avoid
using behaviors that erode trust.

Big Brother and other experiments 1

A new theory of bodily communication, or at least of an important part of bodily communication, namely the movements of the hands and arms that people make when speaking. I will argue that such movements are not part of some system of communication completely divorced from speech, as many psychologists have assumed, rather they are intimately connected with speaking and with thinking. Indeed these movements of the hands and arms reflect our thinking, like language itself but in a completely different manner. I will argue that such behaviours provide us with a glimpse of our hidden unarticulated thoughts. Movements of the hands and arms act as a window on the human mind; they make thought visible.  This is a new theory in psychology, which owes much to the pioneering work of the American psychologist David McNeill, but as the Big Brother psychologist I have taken this theory and applied it to examples of behaviour from the Big Brother house for millions to see. Many seemed to like the basic idea and agreed that my interpretations of unarticulated thoughts were at least plausible, but what was the scientific value of this new theory? Where did the theory come from? How had it been tested? Were there other possible explanations for the unconscious movements of the hands and arms as people speak? In a television show you are not afforded opportunities to go into these kinds of issues. In this book I will outline the scientific case for this new theory and explain why movements of the hands and arms are a crucial and integral part of thinking and why careful scrutiny of these movements might reveal a great deal about the thinking of the individuals concerned and sometimes much more than they ever intended.  As the Big Brother psychologist my focus has been on bodily communication but now I want to argue that we may not have understood a major component of it.  It might seem odd, by the way, for a reasonably established academic to have a television programme prefixed to his occupation in this way, as in 'Big Brother psychologist', it sounds rather like 'Blue Peter presenter' or 'Match of the Day pundit', but given the enormous success of Big Brother, that's how I am identified outside my university. The Guardian calls me exactly that, and sometimes I am referred to in that way inside my university as well. I sometimes find that a little strange but I am getting used to it (and no doubt one day I will simply be known as the ex-Big Brother psychologist, but that's a different and perhaps an even sadder story). So I now use the title, currently without the ex, perhaps a little selfconsciously. Big Brother, after all, has been very useful in interesting the public in the micro-aspects of human behaviour, something that I have been interested in for many years, and it has provided a unique archive of material for psychologists to analyse. This archive has made a significant contribution to our thinking about language and nonverbal communication and how these two systems of communication fit together.  How has this been achieved, you might ask, when all the Big Brother series provide us with are highly selected individuals performing in front of the cameras? Let us not kid ourselves here. We all know how highly selected the housemates are. We have all seen the videos that they forward with their applications in their efforts to be selected for the show. The housemates are selected to achieve balance and 'interest' with one thing apparently in common—this desperate craving for fame and maybe even fortune somewhere down the line. To critics they are merely self-publicising extraverts, who know that they are continually being watched, 'acting' in front of a battery of cameras which pick up their every movement night and day. Why should such footage be of any interest to psychologists? Because, I would argue, it shows behaviour in sufficient detail in a long enough context so that we can begin to understand the individuals and to get some hint as to why they are doing what they are doing. We can then start to interpret function and motive in their communication and thereby attempt to unravel the complexity of their behaviour operating to achieve such functions in a way that no psychology experiment that I know of has ever allowed before.  Nearly all of the psychological research that has studied bodily communication in the past has been based on mere snapshots of behaviour. Small sets of individuals have been invited into a psychological laboratory, complete with one-way mirrors and hidden cameras, for short periods of time (but see the work of Albert Scheflen 1972, 1974, for a possible exception). No psychology experiment, with all of the technology necessary to record the complexity of behaviour, ever had anyone actually living in the laboratory before. But Big Brother, of course, did just that. The housemates knew that they were being watched (and sometimes they acted up to the camera, pretending to freeze so that the cameramen and women might think their equipment was faulty)—but so do all participants in research in the psychological laboratory. There are strict ethical guidelines governing what participants must be told. If you are going to record behaviour with hidden cameras you should inform the participants beforehand. Big Brother followed these ethical guidelines.  There is another major advantage to this particular show for the psychologist in that through time in each series the audience become interested in the characters on the screen in front of them, interested in their behaviour and in their moods and their relationships, interested in what will happen to them. People are rarely interested in participants in psychological research in quite the same way. This makes the job of the psychologist that much easier. Abstract descriptions of behaviour—'minimal eye gaze', 'high levels of self-touching in the initial period', 'open posture developing into postural echo'—became relevant to the action rather than appearing like some irrelevant academic language that misses the point of the whole thing.  Here are some examples from the third series of Big Brother. Kate, Spencer, Jonny, Adele, PJ, Jade, Tim, Alex, Alison, Lee, Sophie, Lyn and Sandy, their relationships and their behaviour were being discussed by the nation in the summer of 2002. One day we will probably look back and wonder why, but in that summer they gripped us. People would stop me in the street and ask, 'You're the Big Brother psychologist, what do you think is going on between Kate and Spencer?' I would stand there, not wishing to appear rude, rocking slightly with embarrassment, trying to say something that they had not heard before, trying to notice something for them in those layers of behaviour. I would offer up a comment and watch their reaction. 'Nah, you're wrong mate,' they would say. 'Didn't you see that look Kate gave Spencer when he chatted to Adele?' We were all psychologists now, or so it seemed.  Here were lives in miniature, for all the psychologists out there to analyse. There was meaning in the action and narratives unfolding across time to be understood and the behaviour of the characters was a clue to what was going on. It was in fact more than a clue, it was a major part of the story itself. If you missed that look, that gesture or that shrug, you didn't get it at all. Every week I travelled down to Bromley-by-Bow and later to the Elstree studios in Borehamwood to sit in front of the 'quad split', with four streams of image coming at me simultaneously in a room laden with props for the various challenges. The pressure was on for me to make my observations. The fact that the monitors were all quite small made this sometimes a difficult and painstaking task. 'Have you found anything yet?' the producer would ask. 'No pressure really, but the cameraman is set up and ready' The first observation I report here is about Kate, popular from the start and, in fact, the eventual winner of Big Brother 3, but at one point her position in the house looked decidedly shaky. This was my discussion of why that might be the case. I have prefaced each extract with the short title used in the programme itself. These were dreamt up by the producers and usually made me smile.

observation and report next " Visible Thought" article

You are a member of a social world on a planet containing about 7 billion people. This social world is filled with paradox, mystery, suspense, and outright absurdity.

Consider a few examples. In 2004, a rally for world peace was held in California. Sixteen thousand people came together from nine different countries to support the worthy cause of reducing violence and promoting harmony among all human beings. Many stayed up all night holding hands in a giant circle and praying for peace. Is it possible for human beings to live in peace? World War I was called “the war to end all wars,” but after World War II that name went out of fashion. The colossal slaughter and destruction of World War II might have taught humanity some lessons about the importance of peace, yet wars continued; one expert calculated that during the 40 years after the end of World War II there were only 26 days of world peace, defined as the absence of international wars (Sluka, 1992). (Civil wars didn’t count; if you count them, there were probably no days of peace at all.) World peace remains even today a hope of idealists, and we must be grateful for the efforts of campaigners such as those who rally for it. Yet it turns out that on the first day of the conference, several of the delegates got into an argument in the parking lot, and one beat another badly with a shovel. Why would people attending a rally for world peace start fighting each other? Here are some stories from the news. A woman who was charged in the drunk-driving death of her son was sent to prison. The judge allowed her a leave for 24 hours to attend her son’s funeral. Instead of attending the funeral, however, she went to a bar that was about a mile away from the church where the funeral was held. Another judge, in another country, removed a 9-yearold girl from her mother’s home because he did not approve of the name the mother had given her child: “Talulah Does the Hula.” He said such names humiliated children and should not be used. Other names were also rejected, such as Sex Fruit and, for twins, Fish and Chips. Still, not all weird names could be disallowed, and some children were named Number 16 Bus Shelter, Violence, and Midnight Chardonnay. In Santiago, Chile, a prostitute auctioned 27 hours of sex (she called it “love”) and raised $4,000 for a charity event to help poor and disabled children. Religion has been much in the news, but the coverage has been mixed. In Maryland, during the gasoline crisis of 2008, a community organizer held group meetings at gas stations, in which the group prayed for divine intervention to reduce fuel prices. Unfortunately, the prices remained high. (They did come down eventually.) Another type of news story that created a minor furor in 2004 concerned the traffic signals in New York City. Many intersections had buttons for pedestrians to press in order to change the signals—to halt car traffic and activate the signal that it was safe to walk across the street. City officials admitted that many of these buttons were not even connected properly and did not work at all. Why did they have the buttons if they didn’t work? In Brussels, two Belgian beer fans (one a software designer, the other an electrical engineer) launched a video game called “Place to Pee.” In one of the games. players can blow up aliens in outer space by aiming at sensors positioned on either side of the urinal. A specially designed paper cone allows women to play too! Or consider the man who auctioned his “entire life” on eBay. He had recently divorced and wanted to make a new start. So he put up for bid his house in Australia and everything in it, his Mazda car, motorcycle, jet ski, parachuting gear, a trial run at his sales assistant job at a rug shop, and an introduction to his friends. The winning bid was 399,300 Australian dollars (about $389,000). He said, “I am relatively pleased but I thought it would go a bit higher, if I’m honest.” Or consider something much simpler, such as taking a coffee break. If your boss told you to make 10,000 decisions before you got your first cup of coffee, you’d probably think you had a mean boss! But the Starbucks chain of coffee shops has advertised that they offer 19,000 beverage options, if you count all the different coffees, teas, cold drinks, and all the things you could add to them. The recent addition of an “extra hot” option, in which the temperature of your chosen beverage is boosted by 30 degrees Fahrenheit, probably increases the number of choices to more than 25,000. In a sense, therefore, the customer who walks into a Starbucks shop for a morning drink is confronted with more than 25,000 decisions to make. Isn’t that just a way to torture people? Why does Starbucks make money? Why don’t their customers quit in protest? More to the point (at least for a social psychologist), how do people get by in a world that offers them thousands of options at every turn, even for the simplest decisions? Social psychology is the scientific study of how people affect and are affected by others. Can social psychology help us make sense of the bizarre and baffling diversity of human behavior? The answer to this question is a resounding “Yes!” Whether you know it or not, social psychology can also help you make sense of your own social world. The material discussed in this book is intensely relevant to your life. For example, how many of  you have asked yourselves something along these lines: “How can I get him to go along with my plan?” “Should I ask her right up front to do this big favor, or is there a better way to get her to say yes?” “How can I bring them around to my way of thinking?” Chances are, something in this book will prove helpful to you in the future. This is not to say that social psychology is a cookbook for how to manipulate people. But social psychology can help you understand some basic principles of social influence, as well as many other principles of social behavior. And it is also just plain interesting to learn about how and why people act the way they do. The point is that there are plenty of reasons why you ought to be interested in social psychology. As your reasons for learning about social psychology become deeper, your level of understanding will become deeper, and your enjoyment will become deeper. So let’s plunge in by looking at a brief history of social psychology !.

Interpersonal Threats and Automatic Motives

Not one man in a billion, when taking his dinner, ever thinks of utility. He eats because the food tastes good and makes him want more. If you ask him why he should want to eat more of what tastes like that, instead of revering you as a philosopher he will probably laugh at you for a fool. —William James (1890/1950, p. 386)

Many species of waterfowl display a fascinating behavioral sequence. Upon observation of an egg that has rolled away from its nest, the brooding animal waddles over to the egg and nudges it back to the nest with its beak (Lorenz, 1965). Repeated displacement of an egg results in repeated replacement by the animal. For human observers, it’s difficult not to attribute humanlike motives—it appears as though the bird really wants to keep all of its eggs inside the nest. In fact, if we had observed a person engaging in the same egg-nudging behavior, the most sensible explanation would be that this person wants—is motivated—to keep the eggs inside the nest. But appearances are deceiving. Simple experiments have revealed that these birds will also perform the same egg-nudging behavior on objects such as baseballs and doorknobs that have been placed in the vicinity of the nest (Tinbergen, 1951). Termed fixed action patterns, these seemingly complex behaviors are in fact simple stimulus–response reflexes. Waterfowl do not possess goal-directed motives that we are tempted to attribute—they don’t really care about the welfare of their eggs, per se. Whatever “motive” underlies the egg-nudging fixed action pattern, it is manifestly distinct from the apparent function served by it (for a similar discussion, see Schaller, 2003).1 The discovery of fixed action patterns had profound implications for biologists’ understanding of animal behavior. It provoked researchers to address several critical issues, and it led to a fruitful meta-theoretical framework for studying behavioral tendencies (Lorenz, 1965; Tinbergen, 1951). The essential aspects of the framework are as follows. First, fixed action patterns reveal a history of evolutionary selection. Any behavior that is part of a species’ natural repertoire suggests natural selection of behavioral variants that conferred fitness benefits to predecessors (Bolles, 1970). (“Confer fitness benefits” is shorthand for saying that the trait in question increased the likelihood of survival and reproduction for the ancestral animals that possessed the trait.) Second, if fixed action patterns conferred fitness benefits, this implies that they served some adaptive function for the ancestral animals. One might reasonably hypothesize that the egg-nudging behavior was selected because it served—usually reliably—the fitness-enhancing function of gathering eggs that rolled away from the nest (this sort of explanation of behavior is also known as “ultimate” explanation). Finally, careful empirical investigation of f ixed action patterns uncovers the specific mechanisms that underlie them. In the case of the egg-nudging sequence, waterfowl seem to possess a mechanism that detects superficially egglike objects and triggers the nudging behavior (this sort of explanation of behavior is also known as “proximate” explanation). Under some circumstances, such mechanisms produce functionally futile responses (in terms of fitness), which, ironically, expose the design features of the mechanisms (by observing birds collecting baseballs and doorknobs, researchers were able to infer that the birds respond mechanically to objects that look roughly like eggs instead of accurately identifying their own eggs under variable circumstances). In this chapter, we describe lines of research in which a similar framework has been applied to the study of human motives. We begin by describing the theoretical foundations of the evolutionary approach and the ways in which this approach can generate new and testable hypotheses regarding various psychological processes. We then review research lines in various domains of interpersonal phenomena that have tested those hypotheses. Throughout this endeavor we have tried to apply the lessons learned from the humble fixed action patterns. This is not to suggest that humans exhibit behaviors that could properly be called fixed action patterns. Nonetheless, the key idea—that seemingly goal-directed motives may in fact be largely automatic programs—can be usefully applied to the study of human behavior. Perhaps the most important lesson for psychological researchers is to refrain from attaching humanlike goal-directed motives to observed behavior, even, paradoxically, to human behavior.2 This is because the actual motives that drive behavior may be logically independent of the apparent goal served by them, even if we are tempted—as in the case of fixed action patterns—to attribute rational, goaldirected motives. Bowlby (1969) similarly noted the need to separate “function” from “causation” when explaining instinctive behavior. For example, to say that “a bird engages in egg-nudging behavior in order to keep them in the nest” conflates function (the evolutionary reason for the existence of the behavior) with actual causes of the behavioral pattern (the mechanical program and the contextual triggers). As we illustrate below, the automatic nature of goal-like “motives” can be exposed given appropriate circumstances (Schaller, 2003), and, like waterfowl, people may occasionally exhibit responses that appear functionally futile to “wiser” observers (such as experimental psychologists). Indeed, instances of functionally futile behavior may be an inevitable consequence of psychological programs shaped by evolution. Of course, the notion that various primes can automatically trigger behavior is not new (e.g., Bargh, Chen, & Burrows, 1996). Thus, many psychologists will have no difficulty accepting the argument that many behavioral reactions are reflexive and relatively unmediated. Our present thesis pertains more to motivation researchers: Goal-directed motives are constructs to be demonstrated, not assumed (cf. Pittman, 1998).

Leading with Trust

The world is in desperate need for a new kind of leadership.
The type of leadership we’ve seen the last several decades
has produced record low levels of trust and engagement in
the workforce, so clearly what we’ve been doing isn’t
working. We need a leadership philosophy grounded in the
knowledge and belief that the most successful leaders and
organizations are those that place an emphasis on leading
with trust.
A critical step for leaders and organizations to take to
realize the benefits of high levels of trust is to establish a
common definition and framework of how to build trust. Most people think trust “just
happens” in relationships. That’s a misconception. Trust is built through the intentional
use of specific behaviors that, when repeated over time, create the condition of trust. Oddly
enough, most leaders don’t think about trust until it’s broken. No one likes to think of
himself or herself as untrustworthy so we take it for granted that other people trust us. To
further complicate matters, trust is based on perceptions, so each of us has a different idea
of what trust looks like. Organizations need a common framework and language that
defines trust and allows people to discuss trust-related issues.
Research has shown that trust is comprised of four basic elements. To represent those four
elements, or the “language” of trust, The Ken Blanchard Companies created the ABCD Trust
Model—Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable. For leaders to be successful in
developing high-trust relationships and cultures, they need to focus on using behaviors
that align with the ABCDs of trust.
Leaders build trust when they are:
Able—Being Able is about demonstrating competence. One way leaders demonstrate their
competence is having the expertise needed to do their jobs. Expertise comes from
possessing the right skills, education, or credentials that establish credibility with others.
Leaders also demonstrate their competence through achieving results. Consistently
achieving goals and having a track record of success builds trust with others and inspires
confidence in your ability. Able leaders are also skilled at facilitating work getting done in
the organization. They develop credible project plans, systems, and processes that help team
members accomplish their goals.
Believable —A Believable leader acts with integrity. Dealing with people in an honest fashion
by keeping promises, not lying or stretching the truth, and not gossiping are ways to
demonstrate integrity. Believable leaders also have a clear set of values that have been
articulated to their direct reports and they behave consistently with those values—they
walk the talk. Finally, treating people fairly and equitably are key components to being a
believable leader. Being fair doesn’t necessarily mean treating people the same in all
circumstances, but it does mean that people are treated appropriately and justly based on
their own unique situation.
Connected —Connected leaders show care and concern for people, which builds trust and
helps to create an engaging work environment. Research by The Ken Blanchard Companies
has identified “connectedness with leader” and “connectedness with colleague” as 2 of the
12 key factors involved in creating employee work passion, and trust is a necessary
ingredient in those relationships. Leaders create a sense of connectedness by openly
sharing information about themselves and the organization and trusting employees to use
that information responsibly. Leaders also build trust by having a “people first” mentality
and building rapport with those they lead. Taking an interest in people as individuals and
not just as nameless workers shows that leaders value and respect their team members.
Recognition is a vital component of being a connected leader, and praising and rewarding
the contributions of people and their work builds trust and goodwill.
Dependable —Being Dependable and maintaining reliability is the fourth element of trust.
One of the quickest ways to erode trust is by not following through on commitments.
Conversely, leaders who do what they say they’re going to do earn a reputation as being
consistent and trustworthy. Maintaining reliability requires leaders to be organized in such
a way that they are able to follow through on commitments, be on time for appointments
and meetings, and get back to people in a timely fashion. Dependable leaders also hold
themselves and others accountable for following through on commitments and taking
responsibility for the outcomes of their work.

Starting today make the decision to try, don't let the

Starting today make the decision to try, don't let the world or your own fears
hold you back any longer from realizing the accomplishment of your dreams.

Every accomplishment begins with a person deciding to try what dreams
and vision that they may have in their hearts. Instead of just being
someone with a creative imagination, and just being able to dream, we
have to make efforts to try and live to become the person that we dream
about being. There is only one possible way to ever see the dreams of
our hearts come to fruition and that is to try.
Though there will be times in our lives that we may try and fail, we must
know to try and keep trying. Winners are made by not only seeing failure
at least once, but also by seeing that overcoming failure is the only way
to truly get to the top. Starting today make the decision to try, dont let
the world or your own fears hold you back any longer from realizing the
accomplishment of your dreams.

Every story has an ending. But in life, every ending is a new beginning..

Though life seems to be able to get us down by giving us its biggest
forms of discouragement in the times when we know that we need
encouragement, we have to realize that it is never too late to reach our
dreams and to see everything that we have envisioned in our minds for
our selves come to fruition.
One must consider that it is never too late, and as long as you have
breath in you to live, you have strength in you to fight for what you
really desire in life. Don't be stubborn and continue to wait on life, go
after life with a courageous and valiant effort.
Every day is a new day that you are able to create a new beginning. Your
life isn't determined by who you were in the past; your life is determined
by the steps that you are willing to take today to make a better
tomorrow.

Sometimes laughing isn't something you do for fun. Sometimes it's a relief whenyou have nowhere to run.

Laughter  is some of the best natural medicine that we have available to
us in this world. Laughter is shown to have tremendous healing effects
along with and compared to other forms of medicine. Laughter allows for
us to be relieved from the stress of any situation that we may be
experiencing because it allows for us to step back, see the situation for
everything that it really is so that we may best determine how to handle
it, and grow from it.
Sometimes laughing just isn't what we do for fun. It is what we turn to
help deal with certain situations that arise in our lives. Laughter is
something that can be done at anytime, whether to break the ice, or to
break the negative in any situation just enough to be able to further
break it up with more ease. Laugh more, smile, and remember that
laughing is essential in being able to overcome many trying situations in
your life.

Think of all the beauty still left around you & be happy.

Too many times in our lives we get too concerned with the things that
we don't have to appreciate the things in life that we do have that make
life the most beautiful. Think of all of the beauty that is still left around
you and be happy.
We have to remember that in life if there are no dark times, then we
would never be able to see something as beautiful as the stars that shine
above. Appreciate everything that you go through in life, including the
bad times, the times that you have to go without many of the things that
you desire, the times that require you to work and to sacrifice without
seeing much reward.
Also remember that everyday is a day that you can be a blessing to
others, because blessing others is essentially what life is about.
Remember that even if you feel you don't have much, there is always
someone out there with less than you, be a blessing to them, and you
will bless yourself as well.

Natavar Naagar Raas Rasikvar

Natavar naagar raas rasikvar
Radha dekh lubhaani
Pulak pulak ang magan shyam rang
Chhavi ki chhata suhaani
Radha dekh lubhaani
Natavar naagar
Radha roop heri har kehiya
Jaage madan hilor
Puran chandra kiran mein umagi
Sagar tarang kiloy
Radha dekh lubhaani
Natavar naagar
Rahas rahas hari aalingan mein
Dole urr ko haar
Yamuna ke nilam jal upar
Ujali fen fuhar
Radha dekh lubhaani
Natavar naagar
Chanchal mukh chal
Taran nayan mein
Jaagi madan tarang mein
Kanjalyugal sharad pankaj par
Khelati lalati umang
Radha dekh lubhaani
Natavar naagar raas rasikvar
Radha dekh lubhaani

You shouldn't give up. Fight for yourself and who you are. You've got to go through the worst times in life to get the best.

Sometimes life requires us to do nothing more than to just "hang in
there" after we face the severest of storms and difficulties. Nobody ever
told us that life would always be easy, but we must always keep in mind
that while we still have breath to live, everything is going to be all right.
Don't let what happened to you minutes ago, days ago, or years ago to
hold you back from being the best you that you can possibly in each
minute that you have breath. Make the best out of every situation, even
when you may feel as though no good can come out of the worst of
times.
A big lesson that we must learn in life is that though things do not
always go our way, if we are willing to keep a positive attitude, and keep
a positive mindset in our daily lives period, there is nothing that can get
in our way, and there is nothing that may be put in our lives to make our
lives seem as if they aren't worth living.

Moment of Trust – How to Give Feedback That Builds Trust, Not Destroys It

Giving feedback to someone is a “moment of trust” – an opportunity to either build or erode
trust in the relationship. If you deliver the feedback with competence and care, the level of
trust in your relationship can leap forward. Fumble the opportunity and you can expect to
lose trust and confidence in your leadership.

For most leaders, giving feedback is not our most pleasurable task. Having been on both sides of
the conversation, giving feedback and receiving it, I know it can be awkward and uncomfortable. However, I’ve also come to learn and believe that people not only need to hear the honest truth about their performance, they deserve it. Most people don’t go to work in the morning and say to themselves, “I can’t wait to be a poor performer today!” We do a disservice to our people if we don’t give them candid and caring feedback about their performance.

The key to giving feedback that builds trust rather than destroys it is to have a plan in
place and a process to follow. You want people to leave the feedback discussion thinking
about how they can improve, not focused on how you handled the discussion or made
them feel.

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will
never forget how you made them feel. ~Maya Angelou

Before Giving Feedback
Before you have the feedback discussion, it’s important to do three things:

1. Assess the quality of your relationship – What is the level of trust and mutual respect in
your relationship? If the level of trust is low, work on building it . If there has been a
specific breach of trust, work on healing the relationship before giving feedback. If the
feedback receiver doesn’t trust and respect you, your message will be perceived as one
more way “you’re out to get them.”
2. Diagnose the situation and clarify your motives – Clarifying your motive for giving
feedback and the results you want to achieve will help you give the right kind of feedback.
Is your motive to simply give information and let the receiver decide what to do with it, or
are you making a request or demand and expecting the receiver to do something different?
Be clear on the outcome you’re trying to achieve, otherwise your feedback will be muddled
and ineffective.
3. Make sure there is/was clear agreements about goals, roles, and expectations – Did you
fulfill your leadership obligations by setting the person up for success with a clear goal? If
the goal isn’t/wasn’t clear, then reset or renegotiate the goal. If circumstances beyond the
employee’s control have changed to inhibit goal achievement, work on removing those
obstacles, revisit the goal, or engage in problem solving

Feedback Guidelines
When you have the feedback discussion, you’ll be much more successful if you follow these
guidelines:
1. Give feedback on behaviors that can be changed, not on traits or personality –
Behavior is something you can see someone doing or hear someone saying. Telling
someone they need to be more professional, flexible, or reliable is not helpful feedback
because it’s judgmental, nonspecific, and would likely create defensiveness. Being specific
about the behaviors the person needs to use to be professional, flexible, or reliable will
give the receiver a clear picture of what he/she needs to do differently.
2. Be specific and descriptive; don’t generalize – Because giving feedback can be
uncomfortable and awkward, it’s easy to soft pedal it or beat around the bush. Think of
giving feedback as the front page newspaper article, not the editorial. Provide facts, not
opinions or judgments.
3. Be timely – Ideally, feedback should be delivered as close as possible to the time of the
exhibited behavior. With the passage of time, perceptions can change, facts and details can
be forgotten, and the likelihood of disagreement about the situation increases. Above all,
don’t save up negative feedback for a quarterly or yearly performance review. Blasting
someone with negative feedback months after the fact is leadership malpractice.
4. Control the context – Timing is everything! I’ve been married for nearly 26 years and I’ve
learned (the hard way) the value of this truth. Choose a neutral and comfortable setting,
make sure you have plenty of time for the discussion, be calm, and pay attention to your
body language and that of the receiver. Don’t let your urgent need to deliver the feedback
overrule common sense. Find the right time and place to deliver the feedback and the
receiver will be more receptive to your message.
5. Make it relevant and about moving forward – Rehashing or dwelling on past behavior
that isn’t likely to recur erodes trust and damages the relationship. Keep the feedback
focused on current events and problem solving strategies or action plans to improve
performance. Staying forward-focused also makes the conversation more positive in nature
because you’re looking ahead to how things can be better, not looking back on how bad
they’ve been.

Along with these five guidelines, it’s important to solicit input from the feedback receiver
to hear his/her viewpoint. You may be surprised to learn new facts or gain a better
understanding of the story behind the situation at hand. Don’t presume to know it all when
having the feedback discussion.

Giving feedback doesn’t have to be scary and painful. Most people know if they’ve messed
up or are falling short in a certain area, even if they don’t like to admit it. The way in
which the leader delivers the feedback can have more impact than the feedback itself. You
can deliver the message in such a way that your people leave the meeting committed to
improving their performance because they know you care about them and their success, or
your delivery can cause them to leave feeling wounded, defeated, and less engaged than
when they arrived. Which will it be?
It’s your moment of trust. Seize it!

Trust Works! Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, but
oddly enough, most of us don’t think about it until it’s been
broken. By that time, it may be too late to gain it back. Trust
doesn’t “just happen” through some sort of magical
relationship osmosis. It’s built and sustained through the use
of very specific behaviors. Whether you’re a leader, coach,
teacher, parent, or friend, the skill of building trust is critical
to the success of your relationships.

The four elements of trust are illustrated by the ABCD Trust Model™. You build trust when you are:
Able – Demonstrate Competence. People show they are able when they have the expertise
needed for their job, role, or position. They consistently achieve results and are effective
problem solvers and decision makers. Demonstrating competence inspires others to have
confidence and trust in you.
Believable – Act with Integrity . Trustworthy people are honest with others. They behave
in a manner consistent with their stated values, treat people fairly, and behave ethically.
“Walking the talk” is essential in building trust in relationships.
Connected – Care About Others. Being connected means focusing on people, having good
communication skills, and recognizing the contributions of others. Caring about others
builds trust because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care.
Dependable – Maintain Reliability. Dependable people follow through on their
commitments. They respond timely to requests and hold themselves and others
accountable. Not doing what you say you will do quickly erodes trust with others.

You can't please everyone. When you're too focused on living up to other people's standards, you aren't spending enough time raising your own.

One of the biggest lessons we must take with us in life to live as
productively as intellectuals is that there will always be people in our
lives who are jealous, or who just don't vibe with us, for whatever
reason is inside of their heads. Instead of living a life seeking to please
these types of people, by not being ourselves, and restraining from
speaking up about things we know in our hearts we should speak up
about, we have to give the people that we cant be ourselves around the
delete button.
Don't be afraid to send people to your recycle bin in life, and be sure to
empty it after a while. There is no good sense in keeping people around
who only want you to be copycat versions of their selves. People who
will twist up your words, or belittle the efforts you put forth in life as
much as possible, are people that need to be eliminated from your life as
much as possible. People like this have little interest in your well-being.

Everyone wants a life without pain, but there is no rainbow without rain.

If there are never any storms in your life, then you must realize that you
will never be able to appreciate the best that life has to offer in turn.
There are times in our lives when we are forced to face the bad. We must
learn not only how to cope with being in a storm, but we must learn how
to thrive in the storms that we face in life.
If we are willing to stop our progress, and submit to being defeated,
instead of learning what it takes to overcome, we will never be able to
fully appreciate life and what it has to offer. This poses a threat to
everything inside of us that makes us great. With a lack of anything to
work hard for, we won't, and with the lack of a need for diligence we will
no longer have a dream to work towards.
Always remember that though there will be rain in your life, without the
rain there wouldnt be anything as beautiful as a rainbow.

Itna to karna swami…

Itna to karna swami
Jab praan tan se nikle
Govinda naam leke
Tab pran tan se nikle
Shri gangaji ka tat ho
Jamuna ka vanshivat ho
Mera sawla nikat ho
Jab pran tan se nikle
Pitambari kasi ho
Chhabi man main yeh basi ho
Hotho pe kuch hasi ho
Jab pran tan se nikle
Jab kanth pran aye
Koi rog na sataye
Yam darash na dikhaye
Jab pran tan se nikle
Us vakt jaldi ana
nahi shyam bhul jana
Radhe ko saath lana
Jab pran tan se nikle
Ek bhakt ki hai arji
Khud garj ki hai garji
Aage tumhari marji
Jab pran tan se nikle
Itna to karna sai
Jab pran tan se nikle

How to Make it Easy for People to Work with You ?

“It all depends on who you’re working with.”

That was the feedback from team members to a recent survey about the state of collaboration within our department. The feedback was consistent. Collaboration is…well…inconsistent. It all depends on who you’re working with.

In all organizations you’ll hear people complain about the difficulty of working with certain colleagues. The common refrain is, “If only they would _____…”— communicate better, be more responsive, give me all the information I need…fill in the blank with whatever reason suits the occasion.

Instead of being frustrated with other people not being easy to work with, shift the focus to
yourself. Are YOU are easy to work with? If you are easy to do business with, odds are
you’ll find others much more willing to cooperate and collaborate with you.

Here are seven ways to make it easy for people to work with you:

1. Build rapport – People want to work with people they like. Are you likable? Do you
build rapport with your colleagues? Get to know them personally, engage in small talk
(even if it’s not your “thing”), learn about their lives outside of work, and take a genuine
interest in them as people, not just a co-worker who’s there to do a job.
2. Be a good communicator – Poor communication is at the root of many workplace
conflicts. People who are easy to work with share information openly and timely, keep
others informed as projects evolve, talk through out of the box situations rather than make
assumptions, and they ask questions if they aren’t sure of the answer. As a general rule,
it’s better to over-communicate than under-communicate.
3. Make their job easier – If you want to gain people’s cooperation, make their job easier
and they’ll love you for it. But how do you know what makes their job easier? Ask them! If
handing off information in a form rather than a chain of emails makes their job easier,
then do it. If it helps your colleague to talk over questions on the phone rather than
through email, then give them a call. Identify the WIIFM (what’s in it for me) from your
colleague’s perspective and it will help you tailor your interactions so both your and their
needs are met.
4. Provide the “why” behind your requests – Very few people like being told what to do.
They want to understand why something needs to be done so they can make intelligent
decisions about the best way to proceed. Simply passing off information and asking
someone to “just do it like I said” is rude and condescending. Make sure your colleagues
understand the context of your request, why it’s important, and how critical they are to the
success of the task/project. Doing so will have them working with you, not against you.
5. Be trustworthy – Above all, be trustworthy. Follow through on your commitments, keep
your word, act with integrity, demonstrate competence in your own work, be honest, admit
mistakes, and apologize when necessary. Trust is the foundation of any healthy
relationship, and if you want to work well with others, it’s imperative you focus on
building trust in the relationship. Trust starts with being trustworthy yourself.
6. Don’t hide behind electronic communication – Email and Instant Message have their
place in organizations, but they don’t replace more personal means of communication like
speaking on the phone or face to face. I’ve seen it time and time again – minor problems
escalate into major blowouts because people refuse to get out from behind their desks, walk
to their colleague’s office, and discuss a situation face to face. It’s much easier to hide
behind the computer and fire off nasty-grams than it is to talk to someone about a
problem. Just step away from the computer, please!
7. Consistently follow the process – Process…for some people that’s a dirty word and
anathema for how they work. However, processes exist for a reason. Usually they are in
place to ensure consistency, quality, efficiency, and productivity. When you follow the
process, you show your colleagues you respect the norms and boundaries for how you’ve
agreed to work together. If you visited a friend’s home and were asked to remove your
shoes at the door, you would do so out of respect, right? You wouldn’t make excuses about
it being inconvenient or it not being the way you do things in your house. Why should it
be different at work? If you need to fill out a form, then fill it out. If you need to use a
certain software system to get your information, then use it. Quit making excuses and do
work the way it was designed to be done. Besides, if you consistently follow the process,
you’ll experience much more grace from your colleagues for those times you legitimately
need to deviate from it.
No one likes to think of him/herself as being difficult to work with, yet from time to time
we all make life difficult for our colleagues. Focus on what you can do to be easy to do
business with and you’ll find that over time others become easier to work with as well.

Work with Trust…

TrustWorks! is a training curriculum that helps individuals and organizations build trust in
relationships. The TrustWorks! curriculum is built around the ABCD Trust Model,
which identifies the four elements of trust:
Able – Demonstrate Competence
Believable – Act with Integrity
Connected – Care about Others
Dependable – Maintain Reliability

Some essay Steps to Repair Broken Trust…

I believe that most leaders strive to be trustworthy. There aren’t too many leaders who
wake up in the morning, roll out of bed and say to themselves, “Hmmm…I think I’ll try to
break someone’s trust today!” Yet even in spite of our best intentions, there will be times
when we damage the level of trust in our relationships. Sometimes it’s due to our own
stupidity when we make choices that we know are wrong or hurtful to others. Other times
we unknowingly erode trust by engaging in behaviors that others interpret as
untrustworthy. Regardless of how it happens, breaking trust in a relationship is a serious
matter. When a breach of trust occurs, there are five steps a leader should take to repair
the relationship:
1. Acknowledge that trust has been broken. As we’ve learned from the success of the
twelve-step recovery process, acknowledging that there is a problem is the first
step to healing. Don’t use the “ostrich” technique of burying your head in the sand
and hoping the situation will resolve itself because it won’t. The longer you wait to
address the situation, the more people will perceive your weakness as wickedness.
2. Admit your role in causing the breach of trust. For some leaders this may be a
challenging step. It’s one thing to acknowledge that there is a problem, it’s a whole
other thing to admit you caused it. Our ego and false pride are usually what prevent
us from admitting our mistakes. Muster up the courage, humble yourself, and own
up to your actions. This will pay huge dividends down the road as you work to
rebuild trust.
3. Apologize for what happened. A sincere apology involves admitting your mistake,
accepting responsibility, asking for forgiveness, and taking steps to make amends
to the offended party. Explaining the reasons why something happened is fine, but
don’t make excuses by trying to shift the blame to something or someone other
than yourself.
4. Assess where the breakdown in trust happened using the TrustWorks! ABCD Trust
Model. Did you erode trust by not being Able, Believable, Connected, or
Dependable? People form perceptions of our trustworthiness when we use, or don’t
use, behaviors that align with these four elements of trust. Knowing the specific
element of trust you violated will help you take specific actions to fix the problem.
5. Amend the situation by taking corrective action to repair any damage that has been
done, and create an action plan for how you’ll improve in the future. Your attempts
at rebuilding trust will be stalled unless you take this critical step to demonstrate
noticeable changes in behavior.
You can’t control the outcome of this process and there is no guarantee that following
these steps will restore trust in the relationship. However, the important thing is that you
have made the effort to improve yourself as a leader. You’ll be able to lay your head on the
pillow at night with a clear conscience that you’ve done everything under your power to
cultivate the soil for trust to once again grow and flourish.

Effective Apology

More than 5 years experience has shown me there are eight essential elements of an
effective apology:
1. Accept responsibility for your actions – If you screwed up, admit it. Don’t try to
shirk your responsibility or shift the blame to someone else. Put your pride aside and
own your behavior. This first step is crucial to restoring trust with the person you
offended.
2. Pick the right time to apologize – It’s a cliché, but true – timing is everything. You
can follow the other seven guidelines to a tee, but if you pick a bad time to deliver
your apology, all of your hard work will be for naught. Depending on the severity of
the issue, you may need to delay your apology to allow the offended person time to
process his/her emotions. Once he/she is mentally and emotionally ready to hear your
apology, make sure you have the necessary privacy for the conversation and the
physical environment is conducive to the occasion.
3. Say ‘”I’m sorry,” not “I apologize” – What’s the difference? The word
sorry expresses remorse and sorrow for the harm caused the offended person,
whereas apologize connotes regret for your actions. There’s a big difference between
the two. See #4 for the reason why this is important.
4. Be sincere and express empathy for how you hurt the other person – Along with
saying I’m sorry , this step is critical for letting the offended person know you
acknowledge, understand, and regret the hurt you caused. Make it short and simple:
“I’m sorry I was late for our dinner date. I know you were looking forward to the
evening, and being late disappointed you and made you feel unimportant. I feel
horrible about hurting you that way.”
5. Don’t use conditional language – Get rid of the words if and but in your apologies.
Saying “I’m sorry if…” is a half-ass, conditional apology that’s dependent on whether
or not the person was offended. Don’t put it on the other person. Just man up and
say “I’m sorry.” When you add the word but at the end of your apology ( “I’m sorry,
but…” ) you’re starting down the road of excuses for your behavior. Don’t go there. See
#6.
6. Don’t offer excuses or explanations – Keep your apology focused on what you did,
how it made the other person feel, and what you’re going to do differently in the
future. Don’t try to make an excuse for your behavior or rationalize why it happened. If
there is a valid reason that explains your behavior, it will likely come out during the
apology discussion. But let the other person go there first, not you.
7. Listen – This is perhaps the most important point of the eight and one that’s often
overlooked. After you’ve made your apology, close your mouth and listen. Let the
offended person share his/her feelings, vent, cry, yell, laugh, scream…whatever.
Acknowledge the person’s feelings (“I understand you’re upset”…”I see I disappointed
you”…”I know it was hurtful” ), but resist the urge to keep explaining yourself or
apologizing over and over again. I’m not suggesting you become an emotional
punching bag for someone who is inappropriately berating you; that’s not healthy for
either party. But many times the awkwardness and discomfort of apologizing causes
us to keep talking when we’d be better off listening.
8. Commit to not repeating the behavior – Ultimately, an apology is only as effective
as your attempt to not repeat the behavior. No one is perfect and mistakes will be
made, but a sincere and earnest apology includes a commitment to not repeating the
behavior that caused harm in the first place. Depending on the severity of the offense,
this may include implementing a plan or process such as counseling or accountability
groups. For minor offenses it’s as simple as an intentional effort to not repeat the
hurtful behavior.
So there you go. The Great 8 of giving effective apologies, honed from years of groveling…
err…apologizing for my mistakes. What do you think? Are there other tips you would add?
Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts.

Mai To Tum Sang Nain Milake Haar Gai Sanwariya…

Mai To Tum Sang Preet Laga Ke Haar Gai Sanwariya
Mai To Tum Sang Preet Laga Ke Haar Gai Sanwariya
Mope Apna Rang Chada Ke
Chhup Gaya Chhaliya Nain Mila Ke
Mope Apna Rang Chada Ke
Chhup Gaya Chhaliya Nain Mila Ke
Prem Diwani Mohe Bana Ke
Chhod Diya Majhdaar Me Lake
Lee Na Mori Khabariya
Haar Gayi Sanwariya
Mai To Tum Sang Preet Laga Ke
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Dhoondh Liya Saara Nanda Gao
Yamuna Ka Tat Kadam Ki Chhao
Thak Gaye Kanha Mere Paav
Tu Jane Ya Naa Jane Mohan
Jane Ye Sari Nagariya
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Mai To Tum Sang Nain Milake Haar Gai Sanwariya
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Tut Naa Jaye Aash Ki Mala
Apna Le Mujhe E Gopala
Yaa Bhijva De Vish Ka Pyala
Koi Kahe Mujhe Jogan Teri
Koi Kahe Bavariya
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Mai To Tum Sang Nain Milake
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Tujh Me Base Mere Praan Kanhaiya
Tujhe Se Meri Pahchan Kanhaiya
Karna Ek Ahasaan Kanhaiya
Agle Jaman Me Mohe Banana
Tu Apni Basuriya
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Mai To Tum Sang Nain Milake
Haar Gai Sanwariya
Haar Gai Sanwariya

Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

We all fall apart every once in a while. Sometimes falling apart is just
what we need to make our lives come together. No one will ever reach a
level of perfection without any glimpse of imperfection in his or her lives.
What life is truly about is picking up the pieces so that one may continue
to not only live a great life, but so that a person may also be able to
move past the parts of life that arent so great as well.
How well do you handle adversity? Do you find yourself worrying when
things happen the wrong way? Or do you find yourself still believing the
same things that you did before adversity happened in your life.
Troubling scenarios will always be in your life. Are you willing to pick
yourself up, are you willing to stick to your guns, and most importantly
are you willing to push harder than ever before?

Suva Ratri…

Bandhu…

Aponjan…

Bandhu…

Supravat…

Shyam Ke Bina Tum Aadhi Tumhare Bina Shyam Aadhe Raadhe Raadhe Raadhe Raadhe…

Shyam Ke Bina Tum Aadhi
Shyam Ke Bina Tum Aadhi
Tumhare Bina Shyam Aadhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Shyam Ke Bina Tum Aadhi
Shyam Ke Bina Tum Aadhi
Tumhare Bina Shyam Aadhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Aatho Pahar Jo Rahe Ang Sang
Aatho Pahar Jo Rahe Ang Sang
Uss Sanware Ki Ek Jhalak Dikhla De
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Mai To Sanware ke Rang Me Rachi
Mai To Sanware ke Rang Me Rachi
Bandh Ghugharoo Bhi Pag Me Naachi
Aeso Nishthur Bhayo Yashoda Ka Lala
Baat Mere Hardaya Ki Na Maani
Baat Mere Hardaya Ki Na Maani

Apano Ke Sang Yu Karte Nahi
Apano Ke Sang Yu Karte Nahi
Sanware Ko Koi Samjha De
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Chhavi Shyam Ki Basai Layi Chit Me
Chhavi Shyam Ki Basai Layi Chit Me
Kai Baar Nihaaru Itt Utt Mai
Kai Baar Nihaaru Itt Utt Mai
Shyam Ke Bina Mujhe Kuchh Na Sujhe
Shayam Ke Bina Jau Kit Mai
Bhala Shayam Ke Bina Jau Kit Mai
Bhala Shayam Ke Bina Jau Kit Mai
Kaise Bhujhe Pyas Nayano Ki
Kaise Bhujhe Pyas Nayano Ki
Rasta Koi To Batla De
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Kahi Keshaw Kahi Pe Kanhaiya
Kahi Natwar Ras Rachaiya
Kahi Keshaw Kahi Pe Kanhaiya
Kahi Natwar Ras Rachaiya
Kahi Natwar Ras Rachaiya
Bhakto Ki Naiyya Atki Bhawar Me
Paar Kardena Jag Ke Khewaya
Paar Kardena Jag Ke Khewaya
O Paar Kardena Jag Ke Khewaya
Vinti Saral Si Itni Si
Vinti Saral Si Itni Si
Bansi Bajaiya Tak Pahucha De
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe

Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
O Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe
Jai Jai Shri Radhe